I began an apprenticeship with Anam Cara in October of 2025 to train as a spiritual director. In that process, I’ve built this biographical statement:
Carrie Heimer comes to the Apprenticeship after twenty-five years teaching literature and composition to high school juniors and seniors. She perpetually told students, “We have nothing to prove and no one to impress. We’re here for growth.” She feels the same way about spiritual direction. Her favorite moment is when people see what they might not have noticed if no one had asked. As a poet and worship leader, Carrie knows the pressure of wanting to get and make things right, but she’s learning to receive what she needs without earning it, also called grace. She tends these freedoms quite imperfectly alongside her husband in the home they built together in Fairbanks, Alaska.
In my own experience, spiritual direction has offered me:
- space for unapologetic and uninterrupted tending to me, where I have support listening to myself and God.
- space to slow the rush to self-correct and self-scold, and sit with what IS without layering on shame or guilt about what “should” be.
- a protected pause between Feel and Judge.
- growth in my prayer life as I move from speaking to listening; from listing generalities or requests, to receiving particulars and guidance.
Three ways I think about myself as an emerging spiritual director:
- It’s like my work as a Jazzercise instructor: I’m not lifting heavier weights and I don’t have stronger abs than people in my class. I just learned the moves and love to share them. As a director, I’m not closer to God or more spiritually mature. I’m not more anything than you. I just learned the moves and love to be a companion.
- It’s like that childhood question my friends and I used to ask when we were headed into something that might be fun or might be scary, but we didn’t want to see needy: “Wanna come with?” Yes, I do. I absolutely want to come with as you seek God and attune to God’s presence and movement in your life.
- It’s like Jesus asking his boys to sit and watch with him for an hour in the garden. He didn’t need them to chop off any ears or tell him what to pray or fix his situation or save him. He just needed them awake with him. This is an hour of me being awake with you.
If you’re curious about spiritual direction, here are things worth knowing:
- Sessions last an hour, usually once a month. The choice to schedule is completely yours.
- Sessions are entirely confidential. No director will ever talk to family or friends about you.
- There are no assignments. It’s not an accountability relationship. No director holds power to tell or judge or advise.
- Focusing exclusively on you may feel strange, but you don’t have to host your director. Just receive, like you would with a massage.
- Nothing about this process presumes you’re broken or deficient in any way.
- Nothing presumes you have a mistake to fix or a problem that needs solving.
- This process only presumes we’re made for growth, and intentional companionship can make that growth more available.
- I’m happy to meet in person, or via Zoom.
- As a director in training, I cannot charge a fee for another year, so this is an easy way to try.
